Yesterday was the last day of my daughter, Carlee’s, one month NLS (National Lifeguard Safety) course. This has been a very challenging course for her in every way. It has been a month of driving to the next town for this course. It hasn’t been so bad as I get my exercise. I do the lap swim, and if I am super energetic I will work out for a bit at the gym. Our vet is there as well as my physiotherapist and two grocery stores so I have got stuff done. I also visit a friend for coffee in town. However, our family has been going pretty strong lately, with events, courses, school etc. Two weeks before Carlee’s course, we did the same trips in for Jonah to get his Bronze cross. We have been doing school on the fly so to speak for awhile….all for a good cause. “Carschooling” on the drives in and out-of-town, and trying to do as much as possible in concentrated amounts of time are the norm. This use to be easier when the kids were younger. Every experience counted as school and it did not matter as much if we didn’t get the Math text-book finished in the year. We would just move on to the next level in September and things would be fine. I have 2 homeschooling still. Carlee is in grade 11 and Jonah is in grade 9. (Maxx graduated last year but has taken a “gap” year. He has used his time to acquire many courses and certificates and will be going to university in September. It feel like he is a part of the homeschooling process still). Things matter more in the academic arena. So needless to say we are all a little run down. Yesterday when I drove Carlee into her course, by the time I got there I was feeling so sick to my stomach I knew I had to turn around and get home. I could not wait for her course to finish. I had to go NOW> It was a 45 minute drive home. I could do that. God would sustain me! I called my husband and told him what was happening and asked if he could drive in to pick her up later that evening if I came home. I cancelled my physio appointment in town and my coffee date with my friend and bee-lined it home. I prayed the whole way not to be sick. “God help me and just keep me until I get home!” At one point, I thought I wouldn’t be able to drive any more and I pulled over. I was getting dizzy. I cried out to the Lord and started driving again. I made home and was able to have an evening of delirious sickness in the comfort of my own home.
This morning, I stumbled down stairs to a very messy house. This is not that unusual but everyone was tired and not moving too fast. I was still pretty shaky. I asked for some help with the house and was not getting enthusiastic takers. Carlee didn’t get home from her very physically and demanding course until 11:00 pm. Maxx was out changing my winter tires to summer. Jonah was trying to get some math done as he has a deadline. What I really should have done was just never gotten out of bed. What did it matter if the house was a disaster one more day? But I lost it. That scary alter ego personality…(the crazy mom)….shone through. “God please help me, I can’t handle today!” I had a little childish fit and stomped up to my room to pass out again for a couple of hours.
I woke up to Jonah coming into my room to ask me if he could bring me anything. “Yes,” I said, “tea and toast would be great.” I said sheepishly. I could hear evidence of cleaning happening downstairs, swishing of a broom, clanking of dishes AND I was being served breakfast (lunch?) in bed. I felt humbled, ashamed but at the same time my heart began to sing. I was filled with gratitude that my kids accept me and are quick to forgive in my time of weakness.
We have had wonderful years of homeschooling. My kids are my best friends. They know the best of me and they know the worst of me and they love me the same. School continues on today without me. Back to bed I go….When I am weak HE is strong. Thank you, Lord.