My Thoughts on Dating – By Maxx (age 18)

Guys View – By Maxx

 

When my mom asked me to write something about dating I though, “You’re asking me?” In the past, I have been nothing but a bad example. My hope is that people will see God’s view of dating and carry it out, and not follow the world’s set of rules for dating. God has someone specifically hand picked just for you if you would only trust Him and let Him guide you to your future spouse. Unfortunately, highschool relationships are just highschool relationships. And most end up in regret and a lost piece of your heart. Unless God has specifically planned it out that you are to meet your love of your life in highschool  AND you have diligently sought the Lord’s approval, then that relationship is doomed to fail whether it lasts a week or a year. Unfortunately I have learned from experience what dating isn’t. What most people don’t know is there are two different aspects of dating:

1. The first is the world’s standard of dating which most of the time is only carried out of selfish ambition, lack of commitment and a whole set of wordly-minded steps that go almost in reverse to God’s step. It breaks God’s heart that so many people have been told the third date goes “all the way”. Not at all! God made us to be pure. He calls us a temple of God. Our bodies are temples because Jesus Christ lives in us. 1 Thessalonion’s 4:3-4 says” It is God’s will that we should be sanctified that you should avoid sexual immorality, that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is HOLY and HONORABLE…”. A worldly relationship following worldly standards is unpure. But God has called us to be pure and what He has planned for us is ultimately pure and far more beautiful than we can know.

2. God’s view on dating is very different from the world’s. He has one person and one person only specially picked out for us. By following Him and seeking His heart daily, He will lead us there. Only thing is, we have to be patient because our timing is not God’s timing. But this does not mean we should think that “oh well I guess I’ll just sit here until God gives me this person.” No. It is ok to be testing and trying to find out “is this the one?” (in safe ways like having lots of friends and doing stuff in groups). Because God tells us not to be unequally yoked and that we should be searching out for someone who is walking with God. We should not be chasing after the most beautiful girl or the cutest guy. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” Proverbs 31:30. If we put God first in our lives, He will bless us. If we put ourselves fist we will go off chasing what wasn’t meant for us and end up giving our hearts away and will get in return pain and regret. God doesn’t want us to learn the hard way. But if that’s what it takes for you to understand that He will allow it. I had to learn the hard way and I do not have any regret that is deeper. “Unless the Lord builds the house, its’ builders labour in vain.” Psalms 127:1…In other words, Unless God builds the relationship between you and your partner, then you are giving your heart away for nothing.

God loves you and has a perfect plan for you. So do YOUR part. Seek God. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you , plans to give you a HOPE and and FUTURE”. Jeremiah 29:11

Maxx (age 18)

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12 thoughts on “My Thoughts on Dating – By Maxx (age 18)

  1. Carol Anne Schmuck

    Very well said, Maxx. There would be less heartbreak and more real love if we would follow God’s plan.
    I hope a lot of people read what you have just said.

    Love…Carol Anne

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  2. Barbara Shenk

    I am very proud of what you wrote Max and believe it is very true! I have seen hurts in Christians that have dated others and stayed pure but were very hurt when they agreed to break up. Not as deep a hurt and regret as what you have gone through but still a deep hurt. It is not something that you go into lightly and group dating is really good and to have someone that you keep accountable to, that you are totally honest with, these are very good safe guards.
    Blessing to you!!!

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  3. Erin

    Maxx, you are wonderfully wise. A blessing to all, in your group of friends and to us as well. When we put God first, in every life choice, our path is much clearer.
    Much love…Aunt Erin

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  4. Carlee

    No matter what you regret… you always have been (and will be) the greatest older brother role model I could ask for ❤ Now off to rewrite my thing again :/

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  5. Julie Biever

    WOW! Courageous of you Maxx to share your personal thoughts. Love that you are digging into God’s word to back up what you are thinking. You are an amazing guy and the Lord can and does redeem all the locusts have taken and destroyed – I know first hand. Keep the faith.

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