My Thoughts on Dating – by Katie (age 19)


Thoughts on dating


Ok, so to be honest I don’t know a lot about dating, not from a first hand experience anyway. I’ve only ever had one boyfriend, or person who fell under that category, and I went about it the wrong way. First off I did not include God in my decisions surrounding this area. I was swept up purely by the idea of it. At the time it had seemed so perfect to me, we had known each other as kids (him living in the same area as some cousins of mine) and he was a Christian. He also seemed to have all the same interests as me, but in all honestly deciding to date someone at a 3 week summer camp is probably not the best way to grow a relationship and (as far as I’ve heard) has never worked out. I was also a very immature 16 year old (being only a slightly more mature 19 year old now). Long story short he moved very far away without telling me until he got there, and that was that. I was never in “love” with him but it still felt like I lost something, some kind of innocence.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t think of dating as bad, and I don’t think if I could do it over I would change anything, it really put things in perspective. I think there is so much that factors in when it comes to putting your heart out there. You need to make sure its with the right reasons and intentions, and with God by your side (lets be honest has anything ever worked out when your working against god?).  God like any good parent has warned us how a “worldly”, if you will, relationship would end, and that end, unless God chooses to redeem it, is not a good one.

“But what about love at first sight?” Now I’ve never been in love, not so much as being in love with the Idea of being with a specific person at least, so I really don’t know. But from what I’ve seen (at least in a high-school setting) is that its fleeting and love needs a little more to grow on then a look from across a crowded room. Alright, if that’s how you met your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend, wouldn’t you agree it was more the thought then actual love? And that once you got to know each other that was when you really fell in love?

Once again I don’t think dating is bad in fact I encourage it, as long as its in a relaxed setting at first, without the pressure of being “romantic” like going out with a group of friends a few times, or to basket ball game, or even to a movie (if my future, handpicked by God, husband is reading this, preferably an action movie alright?) Just go somewhere that there are other people, and with only the intention of getting to know this person better and maybe in a different way.

I know for me right now, if I was to go into a relationship, (not on a date, there is a difference) that it would be serious for me. Why would I want to date someone I couldn’t picture myself with at least in five years time? Most importantly it would need to be Godly, not meaning you can’t have fun, but that some “fun” is meant for marriage and you as a person deserve to be respected and loved the way God loves and respects you.

“There is a right time and a right way for everything, yet people often have many troubles.

They do not know what the futures holds and no one can tell them what will happen.

No one can control the winds or stop his own death. No solider is released in times of war, and evil does not set free those who do evil.”

Ecclesiates 8:5-8

This verse tells us, basically, to remember God is on our side and has so many plans for us, if only we listen and trust in him. If he’s put marriage and love on your heart then he’s going to fulfill that, but in his own way and his own timing. It is still something you have to work for, but remember, work with God not against him.

Katie (19)

6 thoughts on “My Thoughts on Dating – by Katie (age 19)

  1. Barbara Shenk

    HI! Katie,
    I think you have a lot of good thoughts in there, especially only dating in groups or with people around to get to know someone and TO ONLY DATE IF YOU FEEL THIS IS THE ONE THAT GOD HAS FOR YOU!! I agree with “why would I want to date someone that I was not planning on marrying or in your words be with in 5 years”??? You would only be hurt when it broke up otherwise:-( But if you started dating, thinking this is the guy, and you have listened to your feelings and not God’s checks—RUN!!!! GET OUT OF IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!!
    Blessings to you as you wait for the one God has for you!



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