My thoughts on dating (Really it all comes back to God) Kersten (age 17)
~Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Honestly, most of my life, dating was never really a topic on my mind. I knew I wasn’t allowed until I was 16 and I never really cared about it until around that age anyway. But when I did start to get older (14-15 years old…ish) it became more and more a thing in the people around me, and their relationships also affect me. For as long as I can remember I was told that dating is not something that you just do for fun. It is a way of getting to know someone who means a lot to you and who you think could potentially end up being the person you marry. That is not what I was seeing in most of my friends, though, and I cannot say I have always listened to that either. I was in a relationship and while it was very sweet, I knew I would not end up marrying him, but we dated anyway. I can’t say I regret that relationship; I learned from it and I never compromised myself or my faith during the time. He knew I was a Christian and where I stood and he was ok with it. It did end, though. I think that is what happens when you date not thinking about the ending. It is so easy to “live in the moment”. Sometimes it is even good to do that, but not when you are thinking about dating or going into a relationship. You want to know that you are compatible and that God will be at the center. His love is really the only thing that can hold up a relationship.
~2 Timothy 2:22 “Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
God says that we are not to fall for the desires or lusts of the flesh, but to seek righteousness, faith, love, and peace. I think that before you consider dating someone you should first focus on your relationship with God. Make sure you are totally committed to Him and willing to follow His leads no matter what. Get to the place where you’re in love with Him and know that he is the one who you will always be chasing after. You want to be crazy for him. He is the one who made you, after all. He is the one who has your whole life in His hands and He knows exactly who you are supposed to be with. So trust Him. He loves us, like more than we can ever fully grasp. He wants what is best for us and if we let Him lead us, He will not lead us to less. So I believe that before you enter a dating relationship you should seek Him and pray about it. I think as Christians we need to remember that we are God’s. He lives in us.
1 Corinthians 6:15 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ Himself?”
It can be hard to remember that sometimes. But I think that if we do, we can find a love and a peace that overcomes everything else. And I do believe that is a very important thing to find before you go looking for it in others. We are human, we will disappoint each other, but if we have God’s love in us it will give us the strength to work through it and not feel totally dependent on another.
Ok let’s be honest, this world is one crazy place. We are showered in so many different ideas about what dating is about and how it is like a big game. The lies we are fed are totally insane. “People do it all the time”, “It is no big deal”, or “it doesn’t matter how many relationships you are in. We are young; now is the time to experiment”. Living in a world that teaches that, can make it hard to keep sight of what God has planned for you. But He has the best plans for us.
~Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
So we need to lean on Him and let Him lead us into our relationships. He should be at the center of our hearts. Like the quote that was posted on facebook: “Run as fast as you can towards God and if you meet someone who can keep up, introduce yourselves”. (I may not have it exactly right but you get the idea.)
~ Psalm 119:9 “How can a young man/woman keep his/her way pure? By living according to your word.”
~John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
I believe that it is ok to date and I don’t think it is bad to date more than one person in your lifetime. If you think about it, not many people find Mr/Mrs Right in their first relationship. I don’t think God gets upset when we have more than one relationship. But I do think it breaks His heart when He sees us compromise ourselves and our faith on something or someone who may not even last.
~1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be misled. Bad company corrupts good character.”
So before dating, try getting to know the person. Make sure they hold the same values as you. Make sure you can help build each other up and not tear one another down. Make sure you have the same limits and boundaries. And find someone to keep you accountable.
Proverbs 15:22 “Plans fail without counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”
God wants us to find love. He wants us to surround ourselves with people who will help us and who we can help. He wants us to be happy. Most of all, He wants our hearts to be soft towards Him so He can shape us into the people He has planned us to be. He wants us to keep Him at the very center of our lives in every aspect, including dating, so He can lead us and give us the wisdom to battle, the challenges we will face with strength, and a Christ-like love.
~Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”
~Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can pick him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. Also, if two lie down together they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”