Loretta, here…I actually was not expecting any more modesty posts. Originally I asked Maxx if he would be willing to write the male prospective on the modesty issue. He said yes right away, but was struggling with it for awhile, although he said he had words in his mind but just could not get the thoughts written down. I decided to let it go as I do not ever want to pressure anyone to write or comment for this blog. We left on vacation to cross Canada last week and we were on a 14 hour train ride from Saskatoon to Winnipeg. Eventually our family scattered throughout the train to have some time on their own. Maxx found a nice sunny spot up top in the observation deck. When I ran into Maxx, I saw him with journal and bible open. He was writing this post. I am grateful for his willingness to share his heart honestly. I hope it blesses someone like it did me. Maxx has asked for feedback on his thoughts so I encourage anyone who wants to comment to either use the reply option or if you would like to submit your thoughts in a separate post just email it to me and I will post it.
Modesty – by Maxx (age 18)
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”. Proverbs 31:30
I’ve put off writing this for so long because I didn’t know what to write but I thought I should just start writing anyway. Modesty is a big issue these days and much more than people realize. The world’s morals are slowly diminishing; therefore modesty is more of a problem in this generation.
I can’t say there is a specific set of rules for being modest, just like there isn’t a specific set of rules for being a Christian. It is all about your relationship with Jesus and what He teaches you. A big lie that a lot of people believe, even some Christians, is that modesty is just for women. Modesty is for men and women alike. Even though this is true, in my opinion, an immodestly dressed woman has the potential to do more harm to a man’s eyes because of the male’s lustful nature. This does NOT mean men can get off easier with being immodest!
Modesty is not just the way we dress but it is also the way we act, our posture, our social attitude and our identities. Overall, it comes down to pride. A proud heart will only display a lack of humility and modesty. On the other hand, a humble heart will not only display modesty, but will produce a character in you that people respect.
To start, I would like to say a few things about women and address the topic of immodest dressing. Being a male I know the negative effects an immodesty dressed woman can have. The saddest part is that the world tells us that women have to dress this way to be accepted. I work at a swimming pool, which has to be one of the worst places for a Christian guy trying to keep his eyes pure. At the end of a day I am usually drained from constantly trying to guard my eyes from immodestly dressed women. I’m not sure why God has kept me working there. I’ve tried to get a job somewhere else…trust me. Whenever I see a modestly dressed woman at the pool I think to myself, “I respect her.” Not because she looks good or anything like that but because she obviously has respect for herself. Especially when it is a Christian woman who not only has respect for herself,f but for the Christian men around her who are trying so hard to keep pure.
Now for the guys’ side of modesty….I am definitely hoping to get some feedback from the female side on this as I am not 100% sure on everything I am writing. I do know that guys can dress immodestly. For example, wearing tight tank tops all of the time, or skinny jeans, and I don’t even need to say anything about speedos. They are just gross. But more than that, immodesty can be seen more in the way guys behave. The unnecessary removal of shirts or the “subtle” flexing of muscles when the opposite sex is present. Basically, if we expect women to dress modestly for us, then we need to dress and act modestly ourselves in order to set an example.
With the influences of today’s culture, including social media, entertainment and the internet, it’s hard for a guy to keep his eyes pure. We can either be men of God or men of the world. We can be women of God or women of the world. In the bible, it tells us to not be of this world but in it. So therefore, we are called to be men and women of God in the world and not of the world.
So please, I don’t want anyone taking this the wrong way in that I am trying to be a know- it-all. I really don’t know much. I only what I have come to understand while I have grown up and what God has shown me along the way. I hope this might help someone or give them a better understanding. Please comment if you have any thoughts as I would like to hear them.