Today I feel grateful. Sitting on my porch, looking out over the expanse of my yard, my flower pots are still in bloom and yet the fall colours are in the background. The view signifies change.
I love the change of seasons in Northern British Columbia. Sometimes, I fantasize about living in a warm climate where there are only two seasons: sunny/hot and warm/rainy. But really, as I look out at my flowers against the background of the golden trees, there is something inside me that feels excited about the fall. On the horizon awaits a youth conference with my teens, my oldest son returns home for thanksgiving, and of course, the Christmas season follows sooner than we think after Thanksgiving.
At the same time I fight some sadness and a bit of fear as a season of my life comes to an end. My 16 year homeschool career is coming to a close. I struggle to let go. I struggle to re-establish my identity which was that of a “homeschooling mom”. My youngest is in grade 11 at our local school, and my daughter who has just graduated has gone back for one semester to do two extra courses. So now what?
I plan to get serious about my writing. Write every day. Take this blog in a new direction (that will be another blogpost). Get that children’s book published. Write more magazine articles. Work on my novel.
I have been hired as a “teacher on call” at the school. Never in my wildest dreams did I see myself teaching at a school especially after “retirement”! However, I was asked if I would be interested and after thinking and praying about it I felt to give it a try. If I think about it, I am a bit terrified. But if I don’t think about it and relax in the peace, that God brought the position to me, then I’m okay. I haven’t been called to work yet, so perhaps that is another blogpost as well 🙂
I do have a burning desire to get my house in order (literally). Purge, purge, purge! Sixteen years of homeschooling tends to accumulate a lot of stuff. I want to organize those cupboards that have needed tending to for years. Unpack those boxes from our last move six years ago! Things like that.
I would like to make time to travel a little with my husband on business and also go visit my oldest son at university. There are lots of other commitments I could get busy with. Kid’s extra-cirricular committees, church involvement, mentoring younger homeschooling families….all of those things are good. However, I need to trust God to arrange my schedule and be mindful about seeking Him.
Now is a time for reflection. Homeschooling was a gift. Not everyone can do it or wants to do it. It worked for us as a family for many years. It allowed us to be together, for my kids to become best friends, to travel as a family during the school year, and to study what made us happy. It was much more than academics (although homeschooling had many advantages that way as well). It was my calling for awhile and I grew as a person. It is time to smile at the memories, to let the flock fly and step into the next chapter of my life.
Change. It can be a good thing. Without God it can be scary and overwhelming. Therefore I will look to Him for guidance each day and trust that He also wants the very best for me.